Oddity

Jay always did things differently. Always.

When the date of his wedding drew near, there were hushed tones that began to spread the mongerings that Jay will be bringing his eclectic style to the way the event will be celebrated. No one knew for sure. Those closest to him swore with their lives that it will be a thing to relish because it will not be wedding-as-usual.

"Yes oo," Biodun confirmed to Cele over the phone, when the latter had called to confirm if Biodun got the same email he got. "Jay is just a character."

"We know that one already, but how can he say there's no IV," Cele countered.

"Because he can," Biodun finished off. "So, consider the email the only invitation you need."

"And no dress code?"

"Guy, you can read, abi?" said a now irritated Biodun. "Doesn't it clearly state it there or you are having fun at my expense stating the obvious?"

"No, but..." Cele couldn't find the words.

"But how can a modern day wedding have neither IV nor dress code, abi?" Biodun helped him out. "As I've told Cece, Stacey and Jimi who have all called to make the same enquiries, were we thinking marriage was going to change the Jay we've always known and loved for being the way he is?"

"I'm not arguing with that, bro," Cele said thoughtfully, "but how could he have forced such on the families. Not just his own but the one into which he is marrying?"

"Same thing, Cele. It is Jay. He has his ways. No bi today we know dat one."

"O'boy, that guy na somtin else, I dey teh you."

"Just as I've been telling you since. Now, if you don't mind, I need to go pick up a pair of clean heels. I must be on point come Saturday." As Biodun cut the call, he recalled how he too had wondered how Jay pulled it off. But he shrugged. What was he expecting? Jay can only be Jay. Dazzal.

That was Thursday.

On Saturday, while Biodun savoured the delicacy of a boneless piece of turkey spiced to tantalise the tonsils which he'd carefully selected at the buffet to compliment his admixture of jollof rice and fried rice accompanied by a flanking of Coleslaw dressing, he marvelled again at the uncharacteristic event he was attending.

"Where is the couple? Where 'is' the husband and wife oo" had been the chorused question he'd heard on arrival. As one of those privy of the plans, he'd laughed and kept mainly to himself to avoid being pestered by one of those aunties and uncles who knew he was a close friend of Jay's. He'd been told Cele couldn't make it due to ill health. He'd have to go check on him on Sunday.

Following Jay's crafted sequence of events, the absent couple who asked family and friends to be at the venue of the event at 10 am to witness the glorious union were in a chapel, about 5 minutes drive from that very same venue. In a closeted ceremony witnessed by the parents and siblings of the bride and groom only, they exchanged self-composed vows and were blessed by the vicar.

As Jay will relate to Biodun later, it was over in half an hour. And with glistening eyes, wetted by tears of ecstatic love, he'd listen to Jay relay that moment as being the most magical of his life. Jay was like that, he could paint a picture with words, so perfectly, you'd see with his mind's eyes as he spoke.

Meanwhile, just as the search for the husband-and-wife-to-be was approaching Gulder Ultimate Search levels, the just married Bride-and-Groom waltzed into the event venue with Kate swaying and displaying her wedding band around her finger for the world to see. The shocked looks and wide-eyed astonishment that the realisation evoked was best imagined. Biodun's attempt at stomaching the amusement he felt seeing people come to the consciousness that the vows had already been exchanged failed miserably. He laughed so hard, he choked. Twenty minutes later, he was still red in the eyes.

As he chowed on his turkey and rice combo with his new leather shoes reflecting in the beautiful array of lights in the well-decorated hall, he still had cause to shake his head at the surreality of what he was witnessing. The reception which the event had become since they all missed the exchange of vows was nothing anyone had expected. There was no MC, no dramatic acts of the couple whether it was cutting their cakes or feeding one another, no "long thing". Food was "serve yourself", so no cases of "look face". There was no sitting arrangements based on "aso ebi" and so no hierarchy of guests. By implication, there was no high-table.

A combination of the couple's best songs played non-stop over the venue through the strategically located speakers and they were all mild numbers, mostly number one hits over the years. As these played and people enjoyed their meal, the couple spent the time going from table to table to share moments with friends and family who came to share their day. There was laughter, fun and not a few wet eyes. Some they met together, some individually. They took pictures with many guests and made sure they covered the entire area before going to the serving area to dish their own meals.

From Biodun's table he could see Jay almost cover his entire plate with Coleslaw. Typical. He'd never understand what that guy saw in Coleslaw. He guessed it was he who made sure it was served at the event. Kate went for a modest portion of fried rice and a drumstick. As they walked together to find a table to eat on, Biodun felt he needed to refill his plate.

It was the oddest reception he'd attended quite alright. But with such unusual coupling, it was just as well that the food was so tasty. Some guests were soon seen leaving and it was well and good. They had gifts they'd given the couple and there was a table with souvenirs to pick as you like on your way out. Hmmmm, Biodun shook his head. He'd later take a selfie (or groupfie) with them both but for now, "belle kingdom" must be served. He laughed at himself and almost choked again.